Floridian bumper stickers

What Your Floridian Bumper Sticker Says About You – Part 1

With a high tourist rate and notoriously bad drivers, navigating Florida’s highway system can be quite the adventure. The interstates have two extremes- senior citizens congesting the right lanes at 45 mph, and amateur NASCAR drivers pretending they are racing in the Daytona 500 in the left lane.

Driving on the roads of Florida can often be overwhelming if you don’t know what to watch for. Luckily for you, we have created a guide to easily identify what kind of driver you’re approaching on the roadways of Florida by looking at their Floridian bumper sticker.


I Heart Publix

“Where Driving Is A Pleasure” This Floridian is a proud Publix shopper. Courteous of all things Florida, this driver probably waits for sandhill cranes to cross the street and actually uses their turn signals. Check around the interior of the car and you are likely to find a pub sub riding in the passenger seat, and a large green and white checkered cup with a black straw in the cupholder. Stay near this driver on the road and follow them to the Boars Head.

I love public bumper sticker

Flo Grown

Nothing says “Caution: I don’t use blinkers and will probably cut you off” like a Flo Grown sticker. This Floridian was probably born and raised in the Sunshine State, or just a Yankee trying to fit in with the locals. Look out for these stickers usually slapped on the rear glass of an overly expensive, and unnecessarily accessorized, 4×4 truck. Stay clear of these drivers on the highway, they are often distracted by obnoxiously loud pop country music or Snapchatting the sunset.

“___(Insert Outdoor Activity)___ Life”

“I enjoy the outdoors…in case you were wondering” The Floridian that clearly loves spending time near the coast of the Sunshine State, but lives two hours away from it. The most popular sticker seen on Florida’s highways is Salt Life. With so many environments in Florida these stickers can range from “Swamp Life” to “Salt Life” to “Ranch Life”. These Floridian drivers are headed to their outdoor adventure of choice, and there’s nothing that can stop them…except the afternoon thunderstorms.


Key West Mile 0

“Follow Me To Margaritaville”. Windows down, sunroof open, Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses on, this Floridian driver is just appreciative of the Sunshine State. Often spotted casually driving with one arm out the window, and the other tuning into Jimmy Buffet Classics on the radio this driver is care-free and loving life. Whether this Floridian is headed to a Key West vacation home or one of the Margaritaville locations around the state, they are sure to send you a friendly wave as you pass by. They are a fresh of breath air on the interstate.

Z88.3 ‘Safe For the Little Ears’

“The Central Florida Soccer Mom”. Fans of this popular conservative radio station keep their children’s ears safe, but can often be found racing to the soccer fields at 95 MPH through gated communities. Often located next to a ‘Baby On Board’ sign and a ‘My Child Is An Honor Roll Student’ this sticker is an indicator of pure recklessness around school zones. How does that calm music get those drivers so fired up?

z88.3 bumper sticker decal

Read Part 2 Here!

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  1. Usually by time you are close enough to read the bumper sticker is too late. Either you’ve been cut off, ass-ended dinnertime breaking heavily for a sandhill crane or you’ve been hit in the ass-end by an elderly driver!

  2. As a native, I’m proud of my FloGrown sticker. It’s on my Honda Civic. Besides yielding for Sandhill cranes, turtles and non native drivers (who all drive like their hair is on fire) My FloGrown can often be seen at Publix. Sometimes with a sub being placed in it. 🙂

  3. You forgot local brand and flomotion!
    The new and better stickers for real fl natives.Saltlife is kinda for everyone now.I saw a guy with saltlife and his tag was ohio!Wheres the salt there!
    Mud,sand,dirt or swamp life seems more Floridian to me!

  4. Don’t forget the “Proud to be a wife, mom, dad or husband of (whichever branch of service)

  5. Man, you are waaaaay off with the Z88.3 sticker. This is usually on the back of a teal, forest greet, or light blue sedan that is driving way slow in the fast lane and is an all around timid, indecisive, and unskilled driver that has probably been the cause of, but not involved in the carnage of, many accidents. You will find them in front of you not pulling into traffic when they clearly have the time, space, and right of way. Avoid at all costs.

  6. Swamp life is a Florida Gators things, not an “outdoor activity” thing

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